What possesses a parent to abandon his or her child?

I have 4 children....and cannot even imagine...What possesses a parent to abandon his or her child?
There could be many reasons like mental health problems or terrible violence in the family where the mother feels the child would be safer out of it, I dont know but I dont judge mothers who do it.What possesses a parent to abandon his or her child?
They never learned to be responsible, caring, nurturing people when they were children themselves.





Or, they have emotional issues holding them back.
I ask myself that all the time, as my mother abandoned me and my sister at various times in our childhood.


I remember when i was 7 yrs old, and she drove us to our nans, then disappeared for 3 months with her new bf, and just told my nan that she 'found it hard being a mother'..hmm, not the best excuse at all!


I am now grown up, and have got 2 kids of my own, and could NEVER do that to them, they are my world, and would never let them go through the same thing!
I have one child and no way for anything or even everything in the world would i consider leaving him!





I think people what do that have issues and its better in the long run because the child will be with someone who cares and is able to look after them.
I'll never exactly comprehend and I am one of those children. My mother left my father when I was 2. He tried to see me but her family wouldn't let him. He walked....time passes. In trying to make sense of it. You just get busy with life, out of sight out of mind I guess. Maybe not out of mind all the time but enough so when time passes it makes it harder to contact.


He finally did when I was 25, he was on his death bed. All he could say was he was sorry and that it was one of his biggest regrets. What do you do, but forgive. Glad I got the chance, he died a week later. I will forever be thankful for that opportunity.
desperation perhaps they don't see any way they can stay


i have 9n children but my daughter walked out on her first husband and 2 children Cos of pnd by the time she got the help he went Cort and got the kids so sad there shud be more help and less judgement as we don't no wot there thinking and we don't live in there shoes
As sad as it is, it is their loss and those they abandon are better off. Children eventually adapt if they are surrounded by other loving and caring adults - although it is scarring.





My father left when I was 3 and I reunited with him when I was 18. My mom had been dead for 5 years, I waited until I was an ';adult'; out of respect for her family. Anyway, as it turned out, I really didn't like him very much so we have been estranged for all of my adult life. Why? He was a very selfish man, he did not admit to any of his faults or mistakes, he blamed others for everything - boring!





I think that is why he left in the first place, he could not put the needs of others before his own. Also, it is very hard to love someone, as I tell my own kids, love is not a feeling, it is an action. Some people just aren't up to the task.
Well it depends on what you mean ';abandon';





When it comes to teenage girls who dump their babies at hospital doorways I'd say fear, confusion and desperation.





Otherwise I can't understand it myself. My son is my life, my world and everything in it. Even leaving him with my partner for a few hours while I go shopping is hard! lol! I'm dreading going back to work as I know I'll miss him terribly.





I guess some of these people who deliberately have nothing to do with their children are messed up in the head, selfish, immature and unable to connect with that part of them which should make them put their child first. My partner's mum threw him out of the house at 19 so she could move her new man in. I'll never understand that. Yes he was an adult but he was her son! How anyone could choose a man over their own child is beyond me. No man will EVER come between me and my son. Period.
I don't know ask my daughter's father.


If you ask me, she is better off and I don't hold any anger towards him....she has got plenty of love
I no were your coming from some people are just not right in the head are they.
well, i'd like to know that too...it's so sad
My mother did abandon my brother %26amp; myself when I was in 7th grade (my brother 5th). I know what its like to go through that..even now (I am 23 %26amp; my brother is 20) we have difficulty being around my mom....I just can't understand why she would ever do that, even though she has given me her reasons.





I have one little boy and I can't imagine EVER leaving him. I hate just dropping him off at daycare every day, I can't imagine how it would feel to know I am not coming back.
irresponsibility
Fear ... stress ... depression ... illness ...alcohol or drug abuse ... sheer selfishness and irresponsibility .... and many many more
I personally feel that men are mentally built differently. Else why would so MANY men abandon their kids? And they do it without a second thought. Maybe it's because they are biologically programmed to seed everywhere, while women biologically are made to care for the infant. Who knows.





As far as reasons why women abandon children, I think other posters have already answered that adequately. I would add that some women are just narcissistic.
You cannot call them a parent in that sense then.


They may have mental health problems and so are ill and unable to be a parent.





or just did not really want to take responsibility for a child or children and just walk away from it all.
Maybe the kids were horrible little monsters. Who wants to live around that?
I agree with you completly, i have 3 kids and a dog, and i couldnt abandon any of them.


i guess if people cant take care of thier kids, and there are others willing too love and suport them, then its a much better road for the kids. however i believe from a child standpoint, it will always cause issues, until one day when they can understand that it was for them.


either way, i would do anything, to make sure my kids were with me, and well cared for.


i chose to be a mother, and knew that id be giving up a large part of myself to these kids. and i have never regretted that decision!
I can't ever imagine not seeing my 2 year old, it really is unthinkable!!
I cant understand it either, but there are many reason that a parent may feel the need to abandon their child.


Total overwhelming inadequacy (thinking the child is better of without them.)


Resentment because they didnt want the child.


Cant cope with them.


Dont love them.


Dont know how to look after them.


etc........
I have been asking myself this question since my son's biological 'father' hasn't seen him in 4 years, he's better off without him, my husband is the best daddy you could ask for so my ex has done me and my son a favour
A sicko, thats who!!!








He doesnt deserve the title father!! Maybe sperm donar and thats it!
On the whole men and women view parenting differently - until a man matures he feels providing ';seed'; is sufficient to being a ';father'; but a woman knows better. When a man matures he may see the error of his ways and try to make up for lost time with the child(ren) but by then it may be too late. Mothers can reclaim a child's love because they actually bonded inutero and therefore are more connected to the child they chose to surrender.
I know a poor excuse for a mother..she will tell you that she'd rather party and hang out with her friends than be with her 5 and 8 year old. One day she acts as if she wants to see them.. and within an hour of their Dad dropping them off their Mom is calling him to pick them up. Piece of crap. Some people just don't realize what a blessing little ones are...
My sister-in-law left her 3 sons with their father and to this day I don't understand how she could have done it! The eldest wasn't even his biologically!


I think it's different and probably easier for a man as the physical bond isn't as strong.
I can't imagine either.


Something would have to be seriously wrong with the ';parent.';
I don't have any kids but I think that there is something sadly wrong when any parent could abandon their children.
I HAVE 2 CHILDREN, AND ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT IF SOME ONE CAN ABANDON THERE CHILD, THEN THEY ARE SICK!!!!!