Do you think how a child's hair, dress, or overall outward appearance is a reflection of the parent or parenting ability?
Is there an age when this doesn't apply anymore?
Or are they two separate things?Do you judge a parent by the way the child looks?
This is a tough question to answer. I don't necessarily judge a parent by how their child looks, but if they have a child who always looks messy or unbathed and in clothes that don't fit, it makes me wonder, especially if the child is under 10.Do you judge a parent by the way the child looks?
Yeah I think so too.
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I definitely think that while a child/teenager is living at home his parents should have at least a very minimal amount of say in how the he/she dresses.
When they are babies, toddlers and young kids their parents should make sure they ALWAYS wear clean and age appropriate attire wherever they go. I agree 110% that kids should be able to pick out what they want to wear in what style and colour, but the parents need to make sure it's appropriate and always washed.
When they are teenagers, they should be allowed to go shopping alone or with friends to pick out what to wear, but parents should make sure they wear things that are once again appropriate, clean and not too flashy.
When I see a parent with a child of any age dressed in something with stains on it or something that screams ';slut'; yes, I automatically judge the parents as being I guess ';bad parents.'; Because it's clear to me that they don't care for their child's appearance or what message they're giving off.
Yes, I do. When I see a young child under 4, with a runny nose, messy hair, dirt on their face and hands and running around outside of wal-mart in 20* weather with no coat, I look for CPS. (Happened last week as a matter of fact)
I think that as a parent, you assume responsibility for your child physically, mentally and emotionally. It is your obligation to make sure their appearance is presentable. I think as they hit their grade school years it should subside a little, but you should still press the issue of good hygiene and a presentable appearance.
Now, I could careless if she matches and her hair is perfect, but I draw the line at letting her look like a rag-a-muffin.
I think if the kid is under the age where they are capable of really taking care of all their dressing and hygiene needs, then yes it does reflect the parents. Obviously if the kid is a teenager and wants to get piercings all over his/her face (ICK!) there isn't a WHOLE lot a parent can do to stop, although you would still question the morals of the kid. So I guess the younger the child is the more there physical appearance reflects the parents, and the older, the less it reflects on the parents, but it still does.
I think if the child is very thin or very pale or very fat, then it is a fault of the parent. But if a child has acne, or something like that, it isn't the parent's fault. If a child dresses neatly and greatly at all times, I'd say its the parent's fault wheres if the child dresses according to their mood, or completely rips out the top shirt from the cupboard then the parent's have done a good job. A child's hair is the child's own responsibility, from around age 9 I'd say.
Often when children become adults, people who meet them do not know their parents so they can't judge the parents by the child. they can think ';Oh, she must have a nice mother'; but this doesn't make a big difference to their behavior.
i tend not to judge based on appearances; however, if an 8 year old kid is walking around with poop in his pants or something like that, then I start to wonder. if it's a teenager, then the parents can't have too much control over what their kids look like.
i will judge a parent based on how the kid acts though. if the kid doesn't listen, screams his head off, throws a tantrum while the parent ignores it even though everyone else in the store can't, is rude, is ugly, is in charge of the parent, etc... then i question the parenting skills.
kidding about the ugly - but if the kid is morbidly obese and walks around with a greaseburger, lard fries and mega-sized coke, then yeah, i judge.
Oh Lord, what the parents must think about me! I let Hannah do everything for herself on the weekends as far as pick out clothes, dress herself, brush her hair, etc. I take care of it on school days mainly because she wouldn't get to school until lunch time if I let her do it. So on the weekends, there have been times we've gone to the store and the front of her hair looks nice and combed but the back is all messed up because she figures if she can't see it, then it must be okay. Others may think because my kid is wearing striped pants with a gingham dress with messy hair that I'm a lousy parent, but I think those who know me (and thus have the only opinions I really care about) understand that its Hannah's idea of fashion and not mine.
I would say that once kids are in their teens (like 14-15ish) its kind of out of the parents hands. Most of the time I'll think ';why would that girls mom even buy that for her?'; but then I'll remember myself at her age and how my parents had the rule that if I wanted it and they didn't approve of it, I had to use my own money.
That all being said, I'll see toddlers in shirts that look like they haven't been washed for weeks and see the mom dressed to the nines and wonder what she's more focused on. So I guess they can be a reflection of the parent's abilities.
I try not to judge them, but I think we all do.
Some days it is difficult to get my daughter to brush her hair and she looks like a mess.
I don't think there is ever an age it doesn't apply, because once the child is older their upbringing regarding their appearance will be reflected in what they follow.
What I do see that bothers me, are 3 year olds running around the store wearing nothing but a soggy hanging diaper with a snotty nose- to me that is a reflection of the parent and not just a child being difficult to groom.
Hmmm, quick answer I would say yes.
If a child is dirty, at a time when being clean is more appropriate... or if the child is misbehaving at a time when good behavior is required... or if the child looks malnourished, then I would judge the parent.
However, if the child is dirty while playing in the mud at the playground - seems normal to me. Or if the child is yelling and jumping and going crazy at a play place, then that seems good and normal too.
I think this starts to wear off around 7-10... because at that point, the child is physically and emotionally able to do what the parent asks, or do the opposite. So you can't necessarily judge the parent right away.
Well its understandable why kids are dirty because they are kids. there is a certain standard of clothes that i think kids should look nice when going out, and take pride in themselves when they hit 3 as my one does. I have always dressed her nice, clean her when she gets dirty and also change her clothes if she gets dirty.
I would think i would judge the parents because i feel its being lazy. I mean having snot running out of their nose, or chocolate everywhere without bothering to clean up your child is pure laziness to me.
I do alot and yes i work hard, but i still want her to be clean and i teach her to be clean i dont find it a chore because i want her to know she is a beautiful girl and that her mom teaches her well.
And yes i would want her to carry on being clean and so on, yes she can get dirty but i will change her into new clothes when she is done or she will change herself into new clothes, not wait 5 hours until bath time to clean up..
Yes and no, it really depends on the child's age! like a 3 or 4 year old may want to dress themselves and you have to let them be independent and feel proud about it even if they are wearing pj pants with a bathing suit under neath, they still picked it out themselves. I just hate when parents have kids under or over dressed for the weather. The other day I saw this little one at the mall (3 or 4 months old) and this poor thing was wearing just a onsie in 35 degree weather! Low and behold the ';Mom'; of the infant was dressed nice and warm. I watched her walk outside with the baby in just the onsie. It made me mad. I am a neat freak so im the Mom with the wipe cleaning off my daughters hands and face every 10 seconds! I also always match her because it just bothers me when she is not matching. She has little hair so I don't have to worry about that! I also hate when kids have boogers hanging out of their nose!!!! So ya I think it does matter and not if the clothes are nice but just a clean and happy kid!!!!
I saw this earlier and wanted to take the time to answer... I'm at work so... Shhhhh!
I live in a very small, very poor community. I have to say that I used to judge by that. However, my children love sports and are very athletic, so I joined the committee that coordinates the sporting events for our Elementary children. I have to say that this has opened my eyes BIG TIME on this subject. The parents of the ';little dirtballs'; have the biggest of hearts for their children. Because in most cases love is all they have to offer.
Best wishes...
I have done occasionally-not long ago I was walking to pick my son up from school. Across the road was a woman pushing her little one in a buggy, who was about the same age as my little one that I was pushing in a buggy. This wee lad had a coat on...But no shoes or socks! Bear in mind it was FREEZING cold-his poor wee feet were bright pink and he was trying to tuck them under the buggy to keep them warm. So I did judge his mother-she was there in her warm coat, hat and gloves while her sons feet were like icicles... Not a very good parent in my book!
I think when they're still at the age where a parent is the one doing all the 'dressing' then yes, if a child is scruffy or unclean then I look to the parent.
When a child is young, dirty, and wearing ill-fitting clothes, it does make me think. I try not to judge unless the mother has on perfect clothes, with perfect hair and makeup. That really makes me wonder.
But I do keep in mind that children don't look perfect every time they are out in public.
It's happened to me... My daughter spills juice on her clothes twice in a row, and I know that she won't possibly let me get away with another change of clothes before we have to be out the door.
So then it makes me feel bad if i judge, I mean, there are always exceptions, aren't there?
I think most people do, if you are much of a parent you arent going to take your child out in public unwashed, or in filthy clothes, or nasty greasy dirty hair that hasnt been touched in months,,,,ew...youre only teaching them that its ok to go out that way, and you are showing the whole world that you dont care how your child goes out because youre too lazy to clean them up or throw a clean shirt on them and brush their hair.
im not talking about mismatched clothes, or anything like that, kids like to pick their own sometimes. im talking strictly cleanliness...and appropriate dress for the weather too.
there ARE exceptions lovemybaby...i agree, but you can tell if they have spilled juice and mom said...uuuugh not again , for the 12th time that day lol...or if they have been unwashed and filthy for days/weeks/whatever...those are the ones i have to wonder about, you expect a certain amount of yuck with kids..but they dont need to look like they last saw water when moms broke. :-)
I don't know maybe occasionally I do. I was at an appointment the other day and this kid came in with his mother and he had dirt all over his face, all over his hands and his pants were dirty.
Now, I as a mother would change the pants if they looked that bad! I keep baby whipes in my car to wash off any said ';yuck'; off of my children. I don't know what happend or why the kid looked like that, but I got kinda grossed out when he wanted to play with my 3 year old.
Luckily we went into the room shortly after getting there, and I made shure I washed my kids hands off really good.
Sometimes -- not like name brand clothes or anything, but if they are smelly, or dressed really innapropriately for something and they are younger then I guess so........ then I have to think too that we are all trying to do our best to whatever knowledge we have at the time, and try to hold any judgements.
I am guilty of it. I hate seeing scruffy looking little ones when their parents are dressed nice and it looks like the kids are wearing clothes that look nasty and dirty and the kid looks like it has seen a bar of soap, rag and water in weeks.
I wouldn't judge a parent by how the child looks cause the parents can't control the kids eating habits, what they wear, and their overall attitude once they get to a certain age. Hope this helps.
Well if a kid has rotten teeth and shorts on in the winter snow then it's hard for me not to judge. Otherwise, I really don't think much about other kids appearance. :)
PS- where were you last night? :P
eta: I got on! but then I got bored. no one was on....
Sometimes-Not usually :) :) :)
By the way the child behaves. They must have learned those habit from someone!.
Peace.
Eh, its more how they act that i judge by...but i try not to judge, now if they are messy and unbathed, then i wonder.
No but i do how the child acts and how the parent treats him/her
yeah, i mean if the kid just plain looks like he's/she's not getting taken care of . . .
no i judge my the behavior like my neighbor looks all suit but dang is she nasty
no
mask making
